The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
