Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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