operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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