rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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