so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
