I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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