I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize