Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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