these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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