I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
