Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
