I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
