That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you made out with another girl for some wings
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
