My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I believe in your delicious
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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