Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
