Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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