So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I smell like Dick and happiness
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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