I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
