thus making me awesome and them whores
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
