ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
