I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
