Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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