Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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