She's JV to your varsity
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
