just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
