I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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