In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
