I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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