Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dick very happy bro
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
