Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
