Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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