Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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