I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
