Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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