just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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