i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
