ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
