I can tuck mytits in my pants
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
