We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
