we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
