you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
