Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
