he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
