I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
