whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
