Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
