Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize