there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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