you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
