Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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