Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
