My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
