he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
