She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
