You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
