just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize