Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
