I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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