and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
