youre lurking in front of me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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