no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you traded sex for a burrito?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
